to give it all up, completely.

And you see, the oddities of life, they are all there to tell you something. That sometimes, the life itself, it’s not so bad. 

It’s just waiting there for you to make it not all so bad.

***

How many times did you think every moment in your life should be grand? The moment you finally left the job you hate, the moment you tell your parents you want to start standing on your own feet, the moment you tell somebody you love him.

In my so-called-life, I thought big decisions needs to be taken care carefully. I thought I have to had a really good timing and create the moments. Just to make sure they’re magical enough, and by that I won’t make any errors.

But then I forgot one thing. I can’t make the universe waiting for me. It works just beyond my plans, beyond my every count. It has a very weird sense of humor I supposed to say. Because once, It told me to gave up something to took another chance. A chance to be genuinely happy. I took the chance. In fact I’m a moron if I didn’t. It’s just, I didn’t know one thing until just now.

What I didn’t know, that happen to be the most important thing, that chance I took before, It doesn’t just work magically. It’s a work in progress. It’s the ability to give up things and took better chances, I guess.

That doesn’t really need a lot of planning or series of grand moments. It only needs a will.

***

As he slowly touch my fingers and finally fully hold my hand, I began to think about you, about the oddities, about the magic, about the chemistry, about all the grand moments we create, that I believe I wouldn’t be able to recreate with anyone else. I had to give all of those up. I just had to.

In a very odd way, I gave it all up completely. Finally.

***

"here's where the story ends 
ooh here's where the story ends 

it's that little souvenir of a terrible year
which makes my eyes feel sore
oh I never should have said, the books that you read
were all I loved you for

it's that little souvenir of a terrible year
which makes me wonder why
and it's the memories of your shed that make me turn red
surprise, surprise, surprise..."

---The Sundays, on : Here's Where The Story Ends.