paranoid club.

"Are you sure you're the heroine of your own story, instead of just a supporting role, to complete someone else's story?"

***

Kadang-kadang aneh sekali rasanya menghadapi kenyataan, bahwa suka atau tidak, kehidupan kita ini akan selalu beririsan dengan kehidupan orang lain. Mulai dari cara yang paling sederhana, hingga cara yang paling rumit, seperti di film-film semacam serendipity.

Keputusan saya, memilih kaos bunga-bunga yang membuat saya menghabiskan 30 menit untuk berdandan, dan akhirnya terlambat berangkat ke kantor, bisa saja mempengaruhi kehidupan orang lain. Siapa saja. Sopir angkot yang harus berhenti beberapa detik untuk memberi jalan pada mobil saya, tukang nasi uduk yang dagangannya tidak jadi saya beli karena sudah tidak ada waktu, atau bahkan petugas tol yang harus menahan pipis sebentar karena harus melayani pembayaran saya dulu.

A simple tinniest decision we've made, affect others.

***

Then, how can you be sure, that the life you're living now, is designed personally for you ? How about, if at the end, it's just a little unimportant scene, from a bigger story, that not even yours?

And all the sadness, fuzz, craziness, --any other mixed feelings that you feel all along--what's the importance of it all ?

***

We laughed our ass off, my friend and I. The idea of 'our complicated story is just a part of someone else's happy ending' stabbed us right on the heart. What we have now are weird enough, we don't need them to be any weirder.

But then, another friend barged in. He said, "Over the years, I came to conclusion : It doesn't matter anymore whose story ends how. Just keep swimming. Like Dory the fish said."

We laughed louder. I ended up our late night discussion, and went to sleep in agony.

 [weheartit.com]

***

"God is a music enthusiast, who put the soundtrack to our life. God is a director, who put the twist to our story. But, what kind ? Let's just assume, not the lazy one."

"It's so easy from above  

You can really see it all  

People who belong together 

Lost and sad and small  

But there's nothing to be done for them 

It doesn't work that way  

Sure we all have soulmates but we walk past them every day, oh no ..." --'From Above', Ben Folds & Nick Hornby.

***

*dedicated to bule and budi. Last night's twit-group-discussion bugging me a lot. hahaha.

a {not soo} simple multiple choices.

"Ummm... could I be your boyfriend ? I like you..."

***

Saya nyengir seperti anak kecil kegirangan saat menerima pesan itu. Bukan hanya karena saya sudah sangat kangen mendengar kalimat seperti itu diucapkan kepada saya, tapi terlebih lagi, karena kalimat tadi seperti dirangkai oleh seorang anak ingusan yang sedang jatuh cinta, lalu tanpa pikir panjang, memutuskan untuk mengucapkannya saja.

***

Perjalanan cinta saya dimulai dari umur yang sangat muda. Mungkin sekitar kelas 5 SD. Dewasa terlalu cepat dulu kata orang tua saya. Tapi nyatanya, meskipun sudah mulai berani cinta-cintaan, saya ingat dulu saya masih tidak paham artinya.

Kalau tertarik sama lawan jenis, nah itu pasti namanya cinta. Sederhana saja.

Belum lagi kata-kata cinta yang diucapkan. Jauh lebih sederhana lagi. Sesederhana soal pilihan berganda, yang jawabannya hanya  a, b, atau c. As in fact, there was a boy back then, asking me to be his girlfriend through a piece of paper with a multiple choices question in it.

"Gue suka sama elo. Mau nggak jadi pacar gue ?

Jawab ya :
a. Mau
b. Nggak
c. Ragu-ragu"

That poor little guy, i circled the answer 'C' with my pencil. And he started to act really awkward in front of me, until he discovered, that i managed to have a real boyfriend--that i said 'yes' to--not long after.


Saya masih suka tertawa geli kalau ingat kejadian itu. Because i guess, he had a really good point in that piece of paper. He simplified love for us, long before he knew what love really means.

***

Mungkin pada dasarnya, cinta memang semudah itu. Cinta, tidak cinta, atau, yah apesnya, ragu-ragu. Sayangnya dalam kehidupan nyata, cuma ada dua jawaban untuk pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang berhubungan dengan cinta, yaitu dua jawaban pertama. Sedangkan kalau nyata-nyatanya yang dirasakan adalah yang ketiga, seringkali lupa untuk diungkapkan.

Lalu yang keluar adalah pertimbangan-pertimbangan rasional, tentang apa dan kenapa saya harus bersama dia atau tidak bersama dia. Padahal yang dibutuhkan hanya satu alasan irasional. Namanya adalah keyakinan.

A certain unexplainable feeling, that gonna decide everything for you eventually. Just like that.

***

"Well, i like the idea of you as my boyfriend, because i'm sure you're the right one."

 [weheartit.com]

***

"a bloody gorgeous man pours bloody mary into my glass
he asked me a couple questions of courtesy
and for god’s sake he stunned me
his voice so sweet like the mellow sound of saxophone
I bet he’s good at sex on the phone

oh I just only see, perhaps you’ll find your zsa zsa zsu

we are a perfect match, cause we will become a featured cast
I suppose, I suppose, we supposed..." ---taken from : 'Zsa Zsa Zsu'-Rock N Roll Mafia.

what-so-called art : a new look.

"Art is subject to arbitrary fashion." ---Kary Mullis.

And every once a while, a girl needs to refresh her look. In between her bustle writing what's in her mind down, she manage to compose a new what-so-called artwork.

Now, it's time for a little change around. Enjoy!

***

the old piece

***

the new one. (yippikaayay!)

***

*all being composed on www.polyvore.com