Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"if there is a god, i know he likes to rock."

MOZ. That's how people sometimes called him, or famously known simply as : Morrissey. This guy has very much well known with his contribution in how good the Smith rule the music scene in the 80's, and moreover alone as a solo singer/musician.


Btw, why the hell i open this post with such a cliche background of 'WHO IS MORRISSEY'?! OF COURSE YOU (and everyone that concerns enough about counter culture movements and indie music) KNOW(s) MORRISSEY! As in fact, most of us considered him as God.

And attending his concert, for some people, is the main purpose in life.


 ***

Sebuah kehebohan terjadi di timeline twitter saya pagi ini, dimana hampir semua orang bereaksi sama terhadap berita konfirmasi konser tunggal Morrissey di Jakarta. Semuanya terjebak dalam sebuah histeria berjamaah, menyebut-nyebut bahwa akhirnya sang idola bisa ditonton live sebelum mati (maklum, si opa yang stau ini memang sudha berumur--dan beberapa yang menyukainya juga sudah cukup berumur, ditambah sebuah spekulasi tentang kiamat 2012 yang sedikit banyak dipercaya akan terjadi). Saya juga terlibat di dalamnya. Kebanyakan hanya karena ingin menyebarkan berita gembira ini, sisanya memang kepingin nonton juga, meskipun saya bukanlah salah satu hardcore fan-nya.

Ada yang (lebay-nya) langsung tremor, teriak-teriak tidak karuan, atau tiba-tiba bengong di tengah kegiatan apapun yang sedang dilakukannya pagi tadi, karena terlalu gembira. Well, Morrissey is coming to town, what should i say. Sesuatu yang sudah menjadi harapan umat-nya di Indonesia mungkin semenjak dua dekade silam, dan tidak banyak yang optimis hari ini akan tiba.

Saya tidak akan berkomentar negatif tentang apapun reaksi orang hari ini, karena saya tahu, mungkin saya juga bisa saja melakukan hal-hal gila di atas (atau bahkan yang lebih gila) kalau saja yang datang ke Indonesia itu adalah Coldplay atau Manic Street Preachers. Dua band yang lagu-lagunya merasuki kehidupan saya semenjak pertama kali saya dengar, yang lalu mulai menjadi obsesi pribadi paling tinggi, di atas hal-hal duniawi lainnya. Senang rasanya melihat teman-teman dan beberapa orang yang saya tahu memuja Morrissey seperti saya memuja Chris Martin, akhirnya akan mencapai titik tertinggi itu beberapa saat lagi.  Mungkin hal ini juga yang membuat istilah 'naik haji kecil' itu populer. Sebuah istilah yang menggambarkan pencapaian seorang fans fanatik, ketika akhirnya bisa menonton idola-nya, live and upclose. Sebuah ekspresi pencapaian tertinggi dari karier para gigs freaks dan music geek, yang kali ini tampaknya adalah kesempatannya para pemuja Morrissey.

Mungkin beberapa orang--obviously haters--akan merasa, ini hanya sebuah obsesi sinting dari segerombolan cult pemuja Tuhan gadungan, dan terpaan budaya populer yang terlalu tinggi, tapi apa sih yang salah dari berekspresi terhadap sebuah hal yang paling kita sukai di dunia ? Bukankah dalam hidup itu perlu ada sebuah pencapaian--apapun itu bentuknya ? Dan bukannya ekspresi itu adalah bentuk paling umum dari emosi, yang sayang sekali jika hilang dari hidup ini ?

Jika tuhan itu memang ada, saya yakin ia tidak akan keberatan berbagi umatnya dengan para musisi yang menyentuh emosi ini. Karena toh ini adalah masalah apresiasi, bukan dualisme kepercayaan. Persis seperti apa yang Billy Corgan dari Smashing Pumpkins (yang sudah saya tunaikan ibadah haji kecil-nya dua tahun lalu, dan rasa-rasanya beberapa teman saya masih ingat bagaimana wajah histeris saya muncul secara close up di big screen sebelah panggung, karena saya ada di barisan terdepan, dan terlihat paling histeris), katakan lewat salah satu lagunya :

"If there is a God
I know he likes to rock
He likes his loud guitars
And his spiders from Mars..."


Amen, to that.

***

I'm still waiting for my time to come. To scream histerically at Coldplay's concert front row, and to shed a tears as Manic Street Preachers begin to play the first tune in front of my very eyes. 

*finger crossed*

***
 

 Laneway Festival Singapore 2012 :
Where I fulfilled most of my biggest obsession in music
Feist, Chairlift, M83, etc.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

valentine's (not) suck : a present from the universe.

Valentine's day suck.

Membuat para laki-laki sibuk dengan serba salah, berusaha menebak-nebak apa yang pasangannya inginkan (atau tidak inginkan). Sedangkan para perempuan, berharap-harap cemas, apakah pasangan mereka cukup peduli (dan tidak takut jadi banci) untuk memberikan kejutan manis.

Saya sudah melewatkan proses menyebalkan itu cukup lama (and save my ex BFs a lot of energy). Tapi harus saya akui, tahun ini Valentine sepertinya berhasil membunuh keskeptisan saya.

***

Semalam, seorang teman menghubungi lewat sms dan telepon. Minta saran, lagu apa yang kira-kira bagus dipakai mengiringi Valentine's Day. Sisi pecinta musik saya langsung merasa tertantang, tapi sisanya--sisi anti-valentine--mulai berpikir bahwa ini adalah sesuatu yang konyol. Membantu seseorang, untuk melakukan sebuah ritual yang tercipta hanya karena sebuah legenda seorang martir--yang bahkan tidak berhubungan. Tapi toh, saya tetap mencarikan lagu untuknya.

Dan di tengah-tengah semua proses itu, diam-diam saya berpikir, apa benar Valentine itu useless?

Di luar semua ketololan bahwa merayakan Valentine itu artinya membeli benda-benda berwarna pink muda atau cokelat berbentuk hati beraroma mawar, yang belum tentu rasanya enak, saya mulai merasa, mungkin saja Valentine ini diciptakan dengan maksud tertentu. Seperti, misalnya, membuat orang yang kita sayangi tersenyum.

Siapa sih yang tidak tersenyum saat menemukan setangkai mawar di pintu depan rumahnya ? Atau saat mencium aroma pancake yang dibuat khusus sebagai tanda cinta, dan saat menerima sebuah bingkisan berisi boneka binatang yang enak dipeluk, lengkap dengan kartu ucapan bertuliskan 'xoxo'. Lalu sebagai timbal baliknya, melihat si penerima tersenyum seperti itu, siapa yang tidak akan tersenyum lebih lebar. Semua effort terbayar. sisanya hanya perasaan yang hangat karena bisa sama-sama berbagi senyuman.

Saya sih bukan tipe perempuan yang luluh oleh mawar, pancake, dan boneka binatang (iya, ini #KODE untuk yang ingin mengirimi saya kado Valentine), tapi saya lemah sekali dengan satu hal yang bernama 'ketulusan'. Apapun alasannya, bagaimana pun caranya (tapi please, jangan mawar atau teddy bear), asalkan diawali dengan sebuah niat tulus untuk membuat yang disayang tersenyum, semuanya akan termaklumi.

Saya pun tersenyum, mengirimkan satu judul lagu untuk teman saya tadi, dan berharap, semoga esoknya dia dan pasangan benar-benar bisa bertukar senyuman yang bermakna. Lebih dari sekedar ritual Valentine itu sendiri. .

***

And this morning, i smell a conspiracy between Valentine's Day itself and the universe. They sent me a special personalized valentine present. When the present passing me by on the highway--trying to make a statement--all i could do was capturing it right away.


"I really wanted to share it with you, 
and the thoughts of it made me smile... even wider."

***

"Before I die I'd like to do something nice
Take my hand and I'll take you for a ride
You hit me yesterday because I made you cry
So before we die let me do something nice

I want to buy you something but I don't have any money

No I don't have any money
I want to buy you something but I don't have any money
No I don't have any money

And if I had a car I would trade in my car

If I had a gun I would trade in my gun

Honey we ran from the country,
when we rushed to the city
And now there's nothing to be done
there's nothing to be done..."
--The Drums, on : Money
.

Friday, January 27, 2012

we may found love in a hopeless place ...

... but apparently, it's the best place to fall in love.

***



***

"Yellow diamonds in the light
And we're standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine
What it takes to come alive
It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny
But I've gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
Shine a light through an open door
Love and life I will divide
Turn away cause I need you more
Feel the heartbeat in my mind
It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny
But I've gotta let it go
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place" ---We Found Love (Rihanna Cover) , by : Coldplay.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Kegelapan itu menular. Kegalauan itu menghasut.

"Beberapa hal dalam hidup itu harusnya diatasi, bukan disesali. Dimaklumi, bukan dikutuki."
***

Saya sih jarang sekali ingin menguliahi orang dengan pepatah-pepatah soal kehidupan. Karena menurut saya, semuanya hanya soal teori. Dan tidak ada yang lebih benar dari menjalaninya saja, ketimbang membebani kehidupan itu sendiri dengan sekumpulan hal-hal teoretis absurd yang membuat kita jadi susah mengaplikasikannya.

Tapi akhir-akhir ini, rasanya ingin sekali berteriak di kuping beberapa orang tentang bagaimana seharusnya hidup itu --secara teoretis-- dijalani saja. Apalagi ketika beberapa orang itu merasa berhak mengganggu ketenangan hidup orang lain dengan membagi beberapa pandangannya soal hidup yang mengusik.

Kegelapan itu menular. Kegalauan itu menghasut. Atau paling tidak kedua hal itu bisa menelanjangi diri kita sendiri di hadapan orang lain, dan membuat kita  semakin sulit digapai. Jauh dari teori hakiki tentang berbagi, yang seharusnya membuat bebapa hal jadi terasa lebih mudah.

Tidak ada yang lebih mudah memang kalau bicara soal hidup. Banyak permasalahan yang akan sangat sulit dimengerti lewat cara pandang yang kelewat kaku, apalagi kalau sudah memilih untuk tidak merasa bahagia.

Jadi, bukankah lebih baik berbagi ketololan hidup secara atau cerita konyol yang garing ? Setidaknya orang bisa mentertawainya secara sarkastik, dan tidak jadi mencibir sinis lalu ikut merasa tidak bahagia.
***

"There are so many choices in life. Being happy is one of them."


Sunday, December 18, 2011

it's like, suddenly i'm able to see you perfectly.

....everytime i hear this song.

***

 
***


"If you think you're ready, I will lead you now  
To a field where it's buried, somewhere underground  
All good things in time, I know we'll be fine   
Buried underneath, you are all I see, 
you are all I see, you are all I see
All good things in time, I know we'll be fine  
Buried underneath, you are all I see, 
you are all I see, you are all I see"---Active Child, on: 'You Are All I See'









Saturday, December 10, 2011

insanely romantic.

Sebuah pertanyaan terlontar : "Kita sudah gila ya, sayang?"

Saya tertawa. Buat saya, itu pertanyaan paling romantis yang pernah diucapkan seseorang. Karena pertanyaan itu gila. Dan saya suka menjadi gila. Apalagi tidak sendirian.

"Well, i think we have passed that phase. Now is the time to maintain the thoughts, and stay insane, baby..."

***

***

"We spent some time
together walking
Spent some time just talking
about who we were
You held my hand so
very tightly
And told me what we
could be dreaming of

There’s nothing like you and I
There’s nothing like you and I
So why do I even try?
"
---The Perishers, on : 'Nothing Like You and I'

birthday : a day with the word 'birth' in front of it.

Being 21 was suck. Everybody didn't count you as an adult.
Being 24 even worse. Everybody told you to grow up, while you didn't want to.
What should i say about being 25, i still don't know. But, it surely started with a buzz that i less expected and a lot of positive energy.

***

Thank you family members, friends, and colleagues. Without all of you, for me, birthday is just another day.

24/10/11
[photos : @vanlim_]

Sunday, November 13, 2011

we just want to have a good time.

Dua orang perempuan berkeliaran di daerah Cipete. Satunya berambut panjang acak-acakan. Satunya lagi berambut pendek, juga acak-acakan. Seringnya, mereka duduk-duduk sambil kegerahan di 711, atau makan sop patin di kedai Disto, tepat di bawah sebuah speaker ajaib yang selalu sigap memutar lagu, untuk mengiringi arah pembicaraan mereka.

Dan bila berhubungan dengan mereka, arah pembicaraan itu bisa seperti sebuah perjalanan misterius ke negeri dongeng. Bisa berakhir di mana saja.

***

Yang penting senang. Itu sih motto mereka. Kurang lebih. Senang itu relatif memang. Buat mereka apalagi. Sekedar punya koleksi lagu baru untuk mengisi iTunes dan membahas film-film menarik yang akan dirilis, sudah bisa membuat mereka nyengir-nyengir kegirangan. Apalagi kalau bisa berkarya pakai hati, menjadi terkenal, dan pergi jalan-jalan ke luar negeri. Lebih-lebih kalau bisa berada di barisan terdepan konser Coldplay. 

***

Akhir-akhir ini mereka punya ritual baru. Masih di bilangan Cipete. Setiap pagi ,yang satu akan menunggu di depan kantornya, bersiap untuk saling melambai, ketika yang lainnya lewat mengendarai mobil menuju kantornya sendiri. Semuanya dilakukan sambil bicara lewat telepon, yang baru akan berakhir saat masing-masing harus mulai bekerja.

Kata seseorang, "Kalian itu seperti kakak adik, yah. Tepatnya seperti kakak adik yang masih sekolah SD."

Mungkin memang begitu ya. Mereka menolak merasa tua. Dan berjanji untuk saling mengingatkan, bahwa menari diiringi lagu-lagu bagus itu perlu dilakukan sesekali. Sekarang. Sampai kapanpun.

***

"Some people want to burn the world with their greed, we just want to have a good time."
The unpublished mixtape on 8tracks.

[weheartit.com]

Her Morning Elegance-Oren Lavie
Everything's Not Lost-Coldplay
The Call-Regina Spektor
Can't Go Back Now-The Weepies
Be OK!-Ingrid Michaelson
Two of Us-Aimee Man
Just a Ride-Jem
Good Time-Brazillian Girls
Down River-The Temper Trap
Surrender-Float
We Are Kids-Lacrosse


***

"Sometimes you're up
Sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared now
Dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside
But don't forget enjoy the ride " --- Jem, on : 'Just a Ride'

Friday, November 11, 2011

flawlessly perfect.


You always say that i'm super stunning.
But baby, i swear to the rabbit feet,
i do nothing to be stunning.
I always see you as freakingly charming.
But baby, i know you just crossed fingers
not trying to charmed anyone.

You give me a kiss for cute stupid things that i do.
But honey, i know there will be time that i'm just stupid.
I give you a song that you're gonna sing a long to.
But honey, i know there will be time that you just hate it.

(***)
You're the closest to perfect that I know.
But you know, someone can't be entirely flawless.
We're the closest to perfect that I know.
But I'm sure we know, we can't be entirely flawless.
That's how we can be flawlessly perfect.

And when you told me i'm no longer stunning,
Just please hold the feeling
Let's trace back the moments we've had
Treasure them forever as our flawlessly perfect signs...

***

[weheartit.com]

...it's the feeling of you, as my pair.

Friday, October 14, 2011

paranoid club.

"Are you sure you're the heroine of your own story, instead of just a supporting role, to complete someone else's story?"
***

Kadang-kadang aneh sekali rasanya menghadapi kenyataan, bahwa suka atau tidak, kehidupan kita ini akan selalu beririsan dengan kehidupan orang lain. Mulai dari cara yang paling sederhana, hingga cara yang paling rumit, seperti di film-film semacam serendipity.

Keputusan saya, memilih kaos bunga-bunga yang membuat saya menghabiskan 30 menit untuk berdandan, dan akhirnya terlambat berangkat ke kantor, bisa saja mempengaruhi kehidupan orang lain. Siapa saja. Sopir angkot yang harus berhenti beberapa detik untuk memberi jalan pada mobil saya, tukang nasi uduk yang dagangannya tidak jadi saya beli karena sudah tidak ada waktu, atau bahkan petugas tol yang harus menahan pipis sebentar karena harus melayani pembayaran saya dulu.

A simple tinniest decision we've made, affect others.
***

Then, how can you be sure, that the life you're living now, is designed personally for you ? How about, if at the end, it's just a little unimportant scene, from a bigger story, that not even yours?

And all the sadness, fuzz, craziness, --any other mixed feelings that you feel all along--what's the importance of it all ?
***

We laughed our ass off, my friend and I. The idea of 'our complicated story is just a part of someone else's happy ending' stabbed us right on the heart. What we have now are weird enough, we don't need them to be any weirder.

But then, another friend barged in. He said, "Over the years, I came to conclusion : It doesn't matter anymore whose story ends how. Just keep swimming. Like Dory the fish said."

We laughed louder. I ended up our late night discussion, and went to sleep in agony.


 [weheartit.com]

***

"God is a music enthusiast, who put the soundtrack to our life. God is a director, who put the twist to our story. But, what kind ? Let's just assume, not the lazy one."

"It's so easy from above  
You can really see it all  
People who belong together 
Lost and sad and small  
But there's nothing to be done for them 
It doesn't work that way  
Sure we all have soulmates but we walk past them every day, oh no ..." --'From Above', Ben Folds & Nick Hornby.

***
*dedicated to bule and budi. Last night's twit-group-discussion bugging me a lot. hahaha.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

a {not soo} simple multiple choices.

"Ummm... could I be your boyfriend ? I like you..."
***

Saya nyengir seperti anak kecil kegirangan saat menerima pesan itu. Bukan hanya karena saya sudah sangat kangen mendengar kalimat seperti itu diucapkan kepada saya, tapi terlebih lagi, karena kalimat tadi seperti dirangkai oleh seorang anak ingusan yang sedang jatuh cinta, lalu tanpa pikir panjang, memutuskan untuk mengucapkannya saja.

***

Perjalanan cinta saya dimulai dari umur yang sangat muda. Mungkin sekitar kelas 5 SD. Dewasa terlalu cepat dulu kata orang tua saya. Tapi nyatanya, meskipun sudah mulai berani cinta-cintaan, saya ingat dulu saya masih tidak paham artinya.

Kalau tertarik sama lawan jenis, nah itu pasti namanya cinta. Sederhana saja.

Belum lagi kata-kata cinta yang diucapkan. Jauh lebih sederhana lagi. Sesederhana soal pilihan berganda, yang jawabannya hanya  a, b, atau c. As in fact, there was a boy back then, asking me to be his girlfriend through a piece of paper with a multiple choices question in it.

"Gue suka sama elo. Mau nggak jadi pacar gue ?

Jawab ya :
a. Mau
b. Nggak
c. Ragu-ragu"


That poor little guy, i circled the answer 'C' with my pencil. And he started to act really awkward in front of me, until he discovered, that i managed to have a real boyfriend--that i said 'yes' to--not long after.


Saya masih suka tertawa geli kalau ingat kejadian itu. Because i guess, he had a really good point in that piece of paper. He simplified love for us, long before he knew what love really means.
***

Mungkin pada dasarnya, cinta memang semudah itu. Cinta, tidak cinta, atau, yah apesnya, ragu-ragu. Sayangnya dalam kehidupan nyata, cuma ada dua jawaban untuk pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang berhubungan dengan cinta, yaitu dua jawaban pertama. Sedangkan kalau nyata-nyatanya yang dirasakan adalah yang ketiga, seringkali lupa untuk diungkapkan.

Lalu yang keluar adalah pertimbangan-pertimbangan rasional, tentang apa dan kenapa saya harus bersama dia atau tidak bersama dia. Padahal yang dibutuhkan hanya satu alasan irasional. Namanya adalah keyakinan.

A certain unexplainable feeling, that gonna decide everything for you eventually. Just like that.

***

"Well, i like the idea of you as my boyfriend, because i'm sure you're the right one."

 [weheartit.com]

***

"a bloody gorgeous man pours bloody mary into my glass
he asked me a couple questions of courtesy
and for god’s sake he stunned me
his voice so sweet like the mellow sound of saxophone
I bet he’s good at sex on the phone

oh I just only see, perhaps you’ll find your zsa zsa zsu

we are a perfect match, cause we will become a featured cast
I suppose, I suppose, we supposed..."
---taken from : 'Zsa Zsa Zsu'-Rock N Roll Mafia.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

what-so-called art : a new look.

"Art is subject to arbitrary fashion." ---Kary Mullis.

And every once a while, a girl needs to refresh her look. In between her bustle writing what's in her mind down, she manage to compose a new what-so-called artwork.

Now, it's time for a little change around. Enjoy!

***

the old piece









***
the new one. (yippikaayay!)

***

*all being composed on www.polyvore.com

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

catharsis to your lost soul.

and a friend asked, if i believe in karma. I said, i didn't believe those kind of things. I believe shits happen. for a reason.

***

Even if it's a chronic loneliness that you can't bare any longer.
Even if it's a constant weariness you feel without any particular reason.
Even if it's a suicidal tendencies you grow inside your head, just because you can't stand the pain in your heart.

Never loose a grip. Hold on to the faith. That somehow, shits are meant to be flushed down the toilet.

***

"lonely lonely that was you, lonely and so untrue."
8tracks mixtape as a catharsis to your lost soul.



End of The World-Best Coast
Use Somebody-Bat For Lashes
Lonely Lonely-Feist
Wooden Heart-The Duke Spirit
Satellite-Eliott Smith
Take My Heart-Soko
Asleep-Emily Browning
Terrible Love-The National
Unrequited Love-Lykke Li
Paradise Circus-Massive Attack
Zebra-Beach House


***

"I wake up in the morning and I wonder,
Why everything's the same as it was.
I can't understand. No, I can't understand,
How life goes on the way it does." --- Skeeter Davis, on : 'The End of The World'

***

*image take from : weheartit.com

Thursday, September 8, 2011

listening to radiohead and filling in the thougths of you into it.

talking about sting, and suddenly missing you.
i'm no longer sad, i'm just mad about you. i guess.

***

[“Synchonicity,” The Police Album Art. 1983.]

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

a mixtape story.


"making mixtapes is not like making buildings. No need to calculate, just feel it, and it will grow strong."

***

and when i made my first mixtape for you, i feel miserable. When it supposed to be something romantic, what i think about was only tragic. I put all the song one by one, and i felt like opening our story back from where it started. The absurd coincidence, that leads us to something even more than sentimental. Something surreal that i can't even describe until this very moment, and yet still making me shiver.

i felt like we are made to be together, but that's too far from reality.

***

"Well you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else

Lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I..." --- Ingrid Michaelson, 'You and I'.


image taken from www.weheartit.com

***

*if you feel like listening to something, check the mixtape here.

Monday, August 8, 2011

almost nothing.

Dia terbangun dari tidur dengan perasaan tidak karuan. Mungkin akibat tidurnya memang tidak terlalu nyenyak, mungkin juga akibat satu kata, yang diucapkan begitu saja tepat sebelum ia memejamkan mata. 'Almost'.
***

Selalu ada 'hampir' dalam setiap cerita.
Hampir berkenalan, tapi ternyata si perempuan sudah punya pacar. Hampir jadian, tapi ternyata si laki-laki mundur teratur setelah bertemu calon mertua galak. Hampir menikah, tapi ternyata salah satu mempelai mengalami last minute panic attack, dan membatalkan semuanya. Hampir berhasil bunuh diri, tapi ternyata obat nyamuk yang diminum kurang banyak.


'Hampir' itu mungkin romantis (juga tragis). Tapi untuk dia, 'hampir' itu sudah terlalu basi.
***

Dalam cerita ini, 'hampir' hampir selalu muncul di saat-saat yang tepat--atau mungkin saja tidak tepat. Selalu berhasil mencegah mereka dari apapun yang dia inginkan untuk terjadi.Hampir dipertemukan. Hampir benar-benar menjadi kenyataan. Hampir menjadi satu.

Dan puncaknya pagi tadi. Katanya, "I almost ask you to wait for me."
Dia menjawab, "Just ask me, and I'll wait, whatever it takes."
Lalu, "....".
***

Dia berpikir lagi dan menambahkan, "Maybe you forgot. I've been here all the time. I wait."
Dia tahu, yang dia butuhkan hanya permintaan itu. Karena, jika sudah diminta, itu artinya hanya masalah waktu.
And when the time finally come, then 'almost' is nothing but a silly excuse.

*** 


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

love-hate : to love and to hate equaly.

And there I am. Sitting unproper on my office cubicle, listening to Adhitia Sofyan's old album, 'Quiet Down'.
As i'm drown into the album, something in it left me with this uncertain feeling. About--euh i hope it could be about someone special, but apparently it's not--Bandung.

Yes, about my complicated love-hate relationship with that city.

***

I opened up my notepad, and i can't even finish what i've been writing. Blame this unromantic not-gloomy-enough city. I want my inspirations back. Where i could find anywhere in the other city. Even when i did nothing, sitting in the dark at my cozy room, or when i'm out with some closest friends, sitting on the corner of a tiny street cafe, drinking a glass of sweet iced tea. The wind breeze, the city light, and the irritating night hour, when everything got closed down straight at 10 PM. The gig, the music, the movement. People with unconventional sense of fashion, bikers, and the dreamers. The street food, the factory outlets, and distros. All the things that i usually hate about that city.

I'm on a sentimental mode, missing my old home like a child.

It's ironic. Because technically, I'm home now. But why i still got a home sick ?

***

Maybe i love Bandung, as much as i hate the plainness and boredoom it sometimes brings. Maybe i don't know how much its worth, until it's gone. Maybe i just miss Bandung, but i don't really want to admit it...

***

The city of flowers been waiting so long
Life too short you could’ve been shot
Remember this time, leave your troubles behind

So here we go we’re going to a place
At the rainbows end to put some colors back on you
Let me be the gold and I will put the shine on you
"City of Flowers-Adhitia Sofyan"
 

*And it remains mystery, why Adhitia Sofyan that reminds me of you (beyond the fact that he made a song about you to cheer up a girl)

Friday, July 29, 2011

another heart, another head.

have you ever feel so full and heavy.
Wishing for another head to share your weariness.
Longing for other shape of heart, that could be loaded with stupid things you've done.

I've been there.

And somehow, all those kind of madness, they just need to be left behind.
Don't over think it. Just let go.

So you could moving on, and be the hero of your own story.

***

When there's a burning in your heart
An endless yearning in your heart
Build it bigger than the sun
Let it grow, let it grow
When there's a burning in your heart
Don't be alone

When there's a doubt in your mind

Cause you're thinkin' all the time
Framin' rights into wrongs
Move along, move along
When there's a doubt in your mind

When there's a burning in your heart

And you think you'll burst apart
Oh, there's nothing to fear
Save the tears, save the tears
When there's a burning in your heart

And when you feel like you're a tourist

In the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And define your destination
With so many different places
To call home
Cause when you find yourself a villain
In this story you have written
It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions
Are in need of redemptions
Would you agree?

"You're A Tourist"- Death Cab For Cutie

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

you're my penguin.

Penguin, a black and white tuxedo-ish bird, that can't fly. Most likely mistaken as a north pole based animal. And often considered as cute, except in Batman comics. They have a lot more confusing facts--not to mention the irony about their wings, that apparently are better used for swimming, rather for flying--But, one thing they know for sure : finding soulmate. They have an extreme point of view in relationship. they're religiously monogamous.

"When a penguin finds mate, it stays forever. They mate for life."


It's just a thought, but maybe, i would like to re-incarnate myself to a penguin. So, i don't have to worry about, wether my soulmate is gonna stay or not....

***

"Can you find the time
to let your lover love you
He only wants to show you
The things he wants to learn too
The hardest parts you'll get through
And in the end you'll have your best friend

Love like this may come once
Baby it's fate
Like a soul mate he's your penguin
Baby it's fate
Baby it's fate
Not luck

Can you find the time to let your lover hold you
He needs somebody to hold to
His love is strong and so true
His arrows aiming for you
And he's the one that you were born to love


Love like this is all I want
Baby were fate
Love like this may come once
Baby were fate
Like a soul mate your my penguin
Baby were fate
Baby it's fate
Not luck..."

taken from 'Penguin'; by. Christina Perri

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

personality traces on your desk.

"...people judge others by their cover. I judge pople by their shoes. Yes, your shoes. Because i think shoes never lies."
           --taken from : shoes judging method.

are you have enough of me, telling how shoes could be the most accurate measurement to your personality ? Well, eventually, the old theory has a contender.

Something comes up in my mind, while i'm staring at my current working space. It has just been a month and a half, since i first occupy the cubicle, but i already could see my personality traces everywhere. Even it hasn't been personalized much yet, it can tell that i'm a heavy smoker, with a spicy tounge, that being shown by an ashtray full of cigarette butts and a bottle of super spicy sauce, laying unorganized on my desk (and that's another thing, showing that I'm an unorganized person myself).i begin to take a little deeper to others working spaces around me. And of course, more or less, they also have the owner's personality traces.

And here the theory goes : "do judge people by their working spaces."

 If you take more attention, you'll know who your working mates really are, or even knowing yourself better...
***

Here are my poor attempt to capture my previous working spaces, at work and at home. Care to guess my personality ?


My messy desk at the previous office. 
I think the CDs burried my personality away.



 
here's my--other--messy desk at the old room. There's no CDs, but more DVDs. 
And, NO, it's not the same. 
There's a pretty big differences between CD and DVD.

And, this is (hopefully be) me, with (hopefully be) my writing partner, 
working together at (hopefully be) our (own) working space.

pict taken from : www.theselby.com  
(creative people at their creative space) 

***


* I'll show you my recent working space later. It needs to be personalized a little bit more (means : adding a stack of either CDs or DVDs, and some sort of things)