Showing posts with label melody/lyrics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label melody/lyrics. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"if there is a god, i know he likes to rock."

MOZ. That's how people sometimes called him, or famously known simply as : Morrissey. This guy has very much well known with his contribution in how good the Smith rule the music scene in the 80's, and moreover alone as a solo singer/musician.


Btw, why the hell i open this post with such a cliche background of 'WHO IS MORRISSEY'?! OF COURSE YOU (and everyone that concerns enough about counter culture movements and indie music) KNOW(s) MORRISSEY! As in fact, most of us considered him as God.

And attending his concert, for some people, is the main purpose in life.


 ***

Sebuah kehebohan terjadi di timeline twitter saya pagi ini, dimana hampir semua orang bereaksi sama terhadap berita konfirmasi konser tunggal Morrissey di Jakarta. Semuanya terjebak dalam sebuah histeria berjamaah, menyebut-nyebut bahwa akhirnya sang idola bisa ditonton live sebelum mati (maklum, si opa yang stau ini memang sudha berumur--dan beberapa yang menyukainya juga sudah cukup berumur, ditambah sebuah spekulasi tentang kiamat 2012 yang sedikit banyak dipercaya akan terjadi). Saya juga terlibat di dalamnya. Kebanyakan hanya karena ingin menyebarkan berita gembira ini, sisanya memang kepingin nonton juga, meskipun saya bukanlah salah satu hardcore fan-nya.

Ada yang (lebay-nya) langsung tremor, teriak-teriak tidak karuan, atau tiba-tiba bengong di tengah kegiatan apapun yang sedang dilakukannya pagi tadi, karena terlalu gembira. Well, Morrissey is coming to town, what should i say. Sesuatu yang sudah menjadi harapan umat-nya di Indonesia mungkin semenjak dua dekade silam, dan tidak banyak yang optimis hari ini akan tiba.

Saya tidak akan berkomentar negatif tentang apapun reaksi orang hari ini, karena saya tahu, mungkin saya juga bisa saja melakukan hal-hal gila di atas (atau bahkan yang lebih gila) kalau saja yang datang ke Indonesia itu adalah Coldplay atau Manic Street Preachers. Dua band yang lagu-lagunya merasuki kehidupan saya semenjak pertama kali saya dengar, yang lalu mulai menjadi obsesi pribadi paling tinggi, di atas hal-hal duniawi lainnya. Senang rasanya melihat teman-teman dan beberapa orang yang saya tahu memuja Morrissey seperti saya memuja Chris Martin, akhirnya akan mencapai titik tertinggi itu beberapa saat lagi.  Mungkin hal ini juga yang membuat istilah 'naik haji kecil' itu populer. Sebuah istilah yang menggambarkan pencapaian seorang fans fanatik, ketika akhirnya bisa menonton idola-nya, live and upclose. Sebuah ekspresi pencapaian tertinggi dari karier para gigs freaks dan music geek, yang kali ini tampaknya adalah kesempatannya para pemuja Morrissey.

Mungkin beberapa orang--obviously haters--akan merasa, ini hanya sebuah obsesi sinting dari segerombolan cult pemuja Tuhan gadungan, dan terpaan budaya populer yang terlalu tinggi, tapi apa sih yang salah dari berekspresi terhadap sebuah hal yang paling kita sukai di dunia ? Bukankah dalam hidup itu perlu ada sebuah pencapaian--apapun itu bentuknya ? Dan bukannya ekspresi itu adalah bentuk paling umum dari emosi, yang sayang sekali jika hilang dari hidup ini ?

Jika tuhan itu memang ada, saya yakin ia tidak akan keberatan berbagi umatnya dengan para musisi yang menyentuh emosi ini. Karena toh ini adalah masalah apresiasi, bukan dualisme kepercayaan. Persis seperti apa yang Billy Corgan dari Smashing Pumpkins (yang sudah saya tunaikan ibadah haji kecil-nya dua tahun lalu, dan rasa-rasanya beberapa teman saya masih ingat bagaimana wajah histeris saya muncul secara close up di big screen sebelah panggung, karena saya ada di barisan terdepan, dan terlihat paling histeris), katakan lewat salah satu lagunya :

"If there is a God
I know he likes to rock
He likes his loud guitars
And his spiders from Mars..."


Amen, to that.

***

I'm still waiting for my time to come. To scream histerically at Coldplay's concert front row, and to shed a tears as Manic Street Preachers begin to play the first tune in front of my very eyes. 

*finger crossed*

***
 

 Laneway Festival Singapore 2012 :
Where I fulfilled most of my biggest obsession in music
Feist, Chairlift, M83, etc.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

valentine's (not) suck : a present from the universe.

Valentine's day suck.

Membuat para laki-laki sibuk dengan serba salah, berusaha menebak-nebak apa yang pasangannya inginkan (atau tidak inginkan). Sedangkan para perempuan, berharap-harap cemas, apakah pasangan mereka cukup peduli (dan tidak takut jadi banci) untuk memberikan kejutan manis.

Saya sudah melewatkan proses menyebalkan itu cukup lama (and save my ex BFs a lot of energy). Tapi harus saya akui, tahun ini Valentine sepertinya berhasil membunuh keskeptisan saya.

***

Semalam, seorang teman menghubungi lewat sms dan telepon. Minta saran, lagu apa yang kira-kira bagus dipakai mengiringi Valentine's Day. Sisi pecinta musik saya langsung merasa tertantang, tapi sisanya--sisi anti-valentine--mulai berpikir bahwa ini adalah sesuatu yang konyol. Membantu seseorang, untuk melakukan sebuah ritual yang tercipta hanya karena sebuah legenda seorang martir--yang bahkan tidak berhubungan. Tapi toh, saya tetap mencarikan lagu untuknya.

Dan di tengah-tengah semua proses itu, diam-diam saya berpikir, apa benar Valentine itu useless?

Di luar semua ketololan bahwa merayakan Valentine itu artinya membeli benda-benda berwarna pink muda atau cokelat berbentuk hati beraroma mawar, yang belum tentu rasanya enak, saya mulai merasa, mungkin saja Valentine ini diciptakan dengan maksud tertentu. Seperti, misalnya, membuat orang yang kita sayangi tersenyum.

Siapa sih yang tidak tersenyum saat menemukan setangkai mawar di pintu depan rumahnya ? Atau saat mencium aroma pancake yang dibuat khusus sebagai tanda cinta, dan saat menerima sebuah bingkisan berisi boneka binatang yang enak dipeluk, lengkap dengan kartu ucapan bertuliskan 'xoxo'. Lalu sebagai timbal baliknya, melihat si penerima tersenyum seperti itu, siapa yang tidak akan tersenyum lebih lebar. Semua effort terbayar. sisanya hanya perasaan yang hangat karena bisa sama-sama berbagi senyuman.

Saya sih bukan tipe perempuan yang luluh oleh mawar, pancake, dan boneka binatang (iya, ini #KODE untuk yang ingin mengirimi saya kado Valentine), tapi saya lemah sekali dengan satu hal yang bernama 'ketulusan'. Apapun alasannya, bagaimana pun caranya (tapi please, jangan mawar atau teddy bear), asalkan diawali dengan sebuah niat tulus untuk membuat yang disayang tersenyum, semuanya akan termaklumi.

Saya pun tersenyum, mengirimkan satu judul lagu untuk teman saya tadi, dan berharap, semoga esoknya dia dan pasangan benar-benar bisa bertukar senyuman yang bermakna. Lebih dari sekedar ritual Valentine itu sendiri. .

***

And this morning, i smell a conspiracy between Valentine's Day itself and the universe. They sent me a special personalized valentine present. When the present passing me by on the highway--trying to make a statement--all i could do was capturing it right away.


"I really wanted to share it with you, 
and the thoughts of it made me smile... even wider."

***

"Before I die I'd like to do something nice
Take my hand and I'll take you for a ride
You hit me yesterday because I made you cry
So before we die let me do something nice

I want to buy you something but I don't have any money

No I don't have any money
I want to buy you something but I don't have any money
No I don't have any money

And if I had a car I would trade in my car

If I had a gun I would trade in my gun

Honey we ran from the country,
when we rushed to the city
And now there's nothing to be done
there's nothing to be done..."
--The Drums, on : Money
.

Friday, January 27, 2012

we may found love in a hopeless place ...

... but apparently, it's the best place to fall in love.

***



***

"Yellow diamonds in the light
And we're standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine
What it takes to come alive
It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny
But I've gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
Shine a light through an open door
Love and life I will divide
Turn away cause I need you more
Feel the heartbeat in my mind
It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny
But I've gotta let it go
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place" ---We Found Love (Rihanna Cover) , by : Coldplay.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

we just want to have a good time.

Dua orang perempuan berkeliaran di daerah Cipete. Satunya berambut panjang acak-acakan. Satunya lagi berambut pendek, juga acak-acakan. Seringnya, mereka duduk-duduk sambil kegerahan di 711, atau makan sop patin di kedai Disto, tepat di bawah sebuah speaker ajaib yang selalu sigap memutar lagu, untuk mengiringi arah pembicaraan mereka.

Dan bila berhubungan dengan mereka, arah pembicaraan itu bisa seperti sebuah perjalanan misterius ke negeri dongeng. Bisa berakhir di mana saja.

***

Yang penting senang. Itu sih motto mereka. Kurang lebih. Senang itu relatif memang. Buat mereka apalagi. Sekedar punya koleksi lagu baru untuk mengisi iTunes dan membahas film-film menarik yang akan dirilis, sudah bisa membuat mereka nyengir-nyengir kegirangan. Apalagi kalau bisa berkarya pakai hati, menjadi terkenal, dan pergi jalan-jalan ke luar negeri. Lebih-lebih kalau bisa berada di barisan terdepan konser Coldplay. 

***

Akhir-akhir ini mereka punya ritual baru. Masih di bilangan Cipete. Setiap pagi ,yang satu akan menunggu di depan kantornya, bersiap untuk saling melambai, ketika yang lainnya lewat mengendarai mobil menuju kantornya sendiri. Semuanya dilakukan sambil bicara lewat telepon, yang baru akan berakhir saat masing-masing harus mulai bekerja.

Kata seseorang, "Kalian itu seperti kakak adik, yah. Tepatnya seperti kakak adik yang masih sekolah SD."

Mungkin memang begitu ya. Mereka menolak merasa tua. Dan berjanji untuk saling mengingatkan, bahwa menari diiringi lagu-lagu bagus itu perlu dilakukan sesekali. Sekarang. Sampai kapanpun.

***

"Some people want to burn the world with their greed, we just want to have a good time."
The unpublished mixtape on 8tracks.

[weheartit.com]

Her Morning Elegance-Oren Lavie
Everything's Not Lost-Coldplay
The Call-Regina Spektor
Can't Go Back Now-The Weepies
Be OK!-Ingrid Michaelson
Two of Us-Aimee Man
Just a Ride-Jem
Good Time-Brazillian Girls
Down River-The Temper Trap
Surrender-Float
We Are Kids-Lacrosse


***

"Sometimes you're up
Sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared now
Dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside
But don't forget enjoy the ride " --- Jem, on : 'Just a Ride'

Friday, November 11, 2011

flawlessly perfect.


You always say that i'm super stunning.
But baby, i swear to the rabbit feet,
i do nothing to be stunning.
I always see you as freakingly charming.
But baby, i know you just crossed fingers
not trying to charmed anyone.

You give me a kiss for cute stupid things that i do.
But honey, i know there will be time that i'm just stupid.
I give you a song that you're gonna sing a long to.
But honey, i know there will be time that you just hate it.

(***)
You're the closest to perfect that I know.
But you know, someone can't be entirely flawless.
We're the closest to perfect that I know.
But I'm sure we know, we can't be entirely flawless.
That's how we can be flawlessly perfect.

And when you told me i'm no longer stunning,
Just please hold the feeling
Let's trace back the moments we've had
Treasure them forever as our flawlessly perfect signs...

***

[weheartit.com]

...it's the feeling of you, as my pair.

Friday, October 14, 2011

paranoid club.

"Are you sure you're the heroine of your own story, instead of just a supporting role, to complete someone else's story?"
***

Kadang-kadang aneh sekali rasanya menghadapi kenyataan, bahwa suka atau tidak, kehidupan kita ini akan selalu beririsan dengan kehidupan orang lain. Mulai dari cara yang paling sederhana, hingga cara yang paling rumit, seperti di film-film semacam serendipity.

Keputusan saya, memilih kaos bunga-bunga yang membuat saya menghabiskan 30 menit untuk berdandan, dan akhirnya terlambat berangkat ke kantor, bisa saja mempengaruhi kehidupan orang lain. Siapa saja. Sopir angkot yang harus berhenti beberapa detik untuk memberi jalan pada mobil saya, tukang nasi uduk yang dagangannya tidak jadi saya beli karena sudah tidak ada waktu, atau bahkan petugas tol yang harus menahan pipis sebentar karena harus melayani pembayaran saya dulu.

A simple tinniest decision we've made, affect others.
***

Then, how can you be sure, that the life you're living now, is designed personally for you ? How about, if at the end, it's just a little unimportant scene, from a bigger story, that not even yours?

And all the sadness, fuzz, craziness, --any other mixed feelings that you feel all along--what's the importance of it all ?
***

We laughed our ass off, my friend and I. The idea of 'our complicated story is just a part of someone else's happy ending' stabbed us right on the heart. What we have now are weird enough, we don't need them to be any weirder.

But then, another friend barged in. He said, "Over the years, I came to conclusion : It doesn't matter anymore whose story ends how. Just keep swimming. Like Dory the fish said."

We laughed louder. I ended up our late night discussion, and went to sleep in agony.


 [weheartit.com]

***

"God is a music enthusiast, who put the soundtrack to our life. God is a director, who put the twist to our story. But, what kind ? Let's just assume, not the lazy one."

"It's so easy from above  
You can really see it all  
People who belong together 
Lost and sad and small  
But there's nothing to be done for them 
It doesn't work that way  
Sure we all have soulmates but we walk past them every day, oh no ..." --'From Above', Ben Folds & Nick Hornby.

***
*dedicated to bule and budi. Last night's twit-group-discussion bugging me a lot. hahaha.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

a {not soo} simple multiple choices.

"Ummm... could I be your boyfriend ? I like you..."
***

Saya nyengir seperti anak kecil kegirangan saat menerima pesan itu. Bukan hanya karena saya sudah sangat kangen mendengar kalimat seperti itu diucapkan kepada saya, tapi terlebih lagi, karena kalimat tadi seperti dirangkai oleh seorang anak ingusan yang sedang jatuh cinta, lalu tanpa pikir panjang, memutuskan untuk mengucapkannya saja.

***

Perjalanan cinta saya dimulai dari umur yang sangat muda. Mungkin sekitar kelas 5 SD. Dewasa terlalu cepat dulu kata orang tua saya. Tapi nyatanya, meskipun sudah mulai berani cinta-cintaan, saya ingat dulu saya masih tidak paham artinya.

Kalau tertarik sama lawan jenis, nah itu pasti namanya cinta. Sederhana saja.

Belum lagi kata-kata cinta yang diucapkan. Jauh lebih sederhana lagi. Sesederhana soal pilihan berganda, yang jawabannya hanya  a, b, atau c. As in fact, there was a boy back then, asking me to be his girlfriend through a piece of paper with a multiple choices question in it.

"Gue suka sama elo. Mau nggak jadi pacar gue ?

Jawab ya :
a. Mau
b. Nggak
c. Ragu-ragu"


That poor little guy, i circled the answer 'C' with my pencil. And he started to act really awkward in front of me, until he discovered, that i managed to have a real boyfriend--that i said 'yes' to--not long after.


Saya masih suka tertawa geli kalau ingat kejadian itu. Because i guess, he had a really good point in that piece of paper. He simplified love for us, long before he knew what love really means.
***

Mungkin pada dasarnya, cinta memang semudah itu. Cinta, tidak cinta, atau, yah apesnya, ragu-ragu. Sayangnya dalam kehidupan nyata, cuma ada dua jawaban untuk pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang berhubungan dengan cinta, yaitu dua jawaban pertama. Sedangkan kalau nyata-nyatanya yang dirasakan adalah yang ketiga, seringkali lupa untuk diungkapkan.

Lalu yang keluar adalah pertimbangan-pertimbangan rasional, tentang apa dan kenapa saya harus bersama dia atau tidak bersama dia. Padahal yang dibutuhkan hanya satu alasan irasional. Namanya adalah keyakinan.

A certain unexplainable feeling, that gonna decide everything for you eventually. Just like that.

***

"Well, i like the idea of you as my boyfriend, because i'm sure you're the right one."

 [weheartit.com]

***

"a bloody gorgeous man pours bloody mary into my glass
he asked me a couple questions of courtesy
and for god’s sake he stunned me
his voice so sweet like the mellow sound of saxophone
I bet he’s good at sex on the phone

oh I just only see, perhaps you’ll find your zsa zsa zsu

we are a perfect match, cause we will become a featured cast
I suppose, I suppose, we supposed..."
---taken from : 'Zsa Zsa Zsu'-Rock N Roll Mafia.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

catharsis to your lost soul.

and a friend asked, if i believe in karma. I said, i didn't believe those kind of things. I believe shits happen. for a reason.

***

Even if it's a chronic loneliness that you can't bare any longer.
Even if it's a constant weariness you feel without any particular reason.
Even if it's a suicidal tendencies you grow inside your head, just because you can't stand the pain in your heart.

Never loose a grip. Hold on to the faith. That somehow, shits are meant to be flushed down the toilet.

***

"lonely lonely that was you, lonely and so untrue."
8tracks mixtape as a catharsis to your lost soul.



End of The World-Best Coast
Use Somebody-Bat For Lashes
Lonely Lonely-Feist
Wooden Heart-The Duke Spirit
Satellite-Eliott Smith
Take My Heart-Soko
Asleep-Emily Browning
Terrible Love-The National
Unrequited Love-Lykke Li
Paradise Circus-Massive Attack
Zebra-Beach House


***

"I wake up in the morning and I wonder,
Why everything's the same as it was.
I can't understand. No, I can't understand,
How life goes on the way it does." --- Skeeter Davis, on : 'The End of The World'

***

*image take from : weheartit.com

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

a mixtape story.


"making mixtapes is not like making buildings. No need to calculate, just feel it, and it will grow strong."

***

and when i made my first mixtape for you, i feel miserable. When it supposed to be something romantic, what i think about was only tragic. I put all the song one by one, and i felt like opening our story back from where it started. The absurd coincidence, that leads us to something even more than sentimental. Something surreal that i can't even describe until this very moment, and yet still making me shiver.

i felt like we are made to be together, but that's too far from reality.

***

"Well you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else

Lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I..." --- Ingrid Michaelson, 'You and I'.


image taken from www.weheartit.com

***

*if you feel like listening to something, check the mixtape here.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

love-hate : to love and to hate equaly.

And there I am. Sitting unproper on my office cubicle, listening to Adhitia Sofyan's old album, 'Quiet Down'.
As i'm drown into the album, something in it left me with this uncertain feeling. About--euh i hope it could be about someone special, but apparently it's not--Bandung.

Yes, about my complicated love-hate relationship with that city.

***

I opened up my notepad, and i can't even finish what i've been writing. Blame this unromantic not-gloomy-enough city. I want my inspirations back. Where i could find anywhere in the other city. Even when i did nothing, sitting in the dark at my cozy room, or when i'm out with some closest friends, sitting on the corner of a tiny street cafe, drinking a glass of sweet iced tea. The wind breeze, the city light, and the irritating night hour, when everything got closed down straight at 10 PM. The gig, the music, the movement. People with unconventional sense of fashion, bikers, and the dreamers. The street food, the factory outlets, and distros. All the things that i usually hate about that city.

I'm on a sentimental mode, missing my old home like a child.

It's ironic. Because technically, I'm home now. But why i still got a home sick ?

***

Maybe i love Bandung, as much as i hate the plainness and boredoom it sometimes brings. Maybe i don't know how much its worth, until it's gone. Maybe i just miss Bandung, but i don't really want to admit it...

***

The city of flowers been waiting so long
Life too short you could’ve been shot
Remember this time, leave your troubles behind

So here we go we’re going to a place
At the rainbows end to put some colors back on you
Let me be the gold and I will put the shine on you
"City of Flowers-Adhitia Sofyan"
 

*And it remains mystery, why Adhitia Sofyan that reminds me of you (beyond the fact that he made a song about you to cheer up a girl)

Friday, July 29, 2011

another heart, another head.

have you ever feel so full and heavy.
Wishing for another head to share your weariness.
Longing for other shape of heart, that could be loaded with stupid things you've done.

I've been there.

And somehow, all those kind of madness, they just need to be left behind.
Don't over think it. Just let go.

So you could moving on, and be the hero of your own story.

***

When there's a burning in your heart
An endless yearning in your heart
Build it bigger than the sun
Let it grow, let it grow
When there's a burning in your heart
Don't be alone

When there's a doubt in your mind

Cause you're thinkin' all the time
Framin' rights into wrongs
Move along, move along
When there's a doubt in your mind

When there's a burning in your heart

And you think you'll burst apart
Oh, there's nothing to fear
Save the tears, save the tears
When there's a burning in your heart

And when you feel like you're a tourist

In the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And define your destination
With so many different places
To call home
Cause when you find yourself a villain
In this story you have written
It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions
Are in need of redemptions
Would you agree?

"You're A Tourist"- Death Cab For Cutie

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

you're my penguin.

Penguin, a black and white tuxedo-ish bird, that can't fly. Most likely mistaken as a north pole based animal. And often considered as cute, except in Batman comics. They have a lot more confusing facts--not to mention the irony about their wings, that apparently are better used for swimming, rather for flying--But, one thing they know for sure : finding soulmate. They have an extreme point of view in relationship. they're religiously monogamous.

"When a penguin finds mate, it stays forever. They mate for life."


It's just a thought, but maybe, i would like to re-incarnate myself to a penguin. So, i don't have to worry about, wether my soulmate is gonna stay or not....

***

"Can you find the time
to let your lover love you
He only wants to show you
The things he wants to learn too
The hardest parts you'll get through
And in the end you'll have your best friend

Love like this may come once
Baby it's fate
Like a soul mate he's your penguin
Baby it's fate
Baby it's fate
Not luck

Can you find the time to let your lover hold you
He needs somebody to hold to
His love is strong and so true
His arrows aiming for you
And he's the one that you were born to love


Love like this is all I want
Baby were fate
Love like this may come once
Baby were fate
Like a soul mate your my penguin
Baby were fate
Baby it's fate
Not luck..."

taken from 'Penguin'; by. Christina Perri

Friday, July 15, 2011

dream and run.

When something started, we dream a lot.

But, when suddenly those dreams are about to come true, we choose to end them with our own distrust...

...and running away.
***

I'm not. I wait.

Because i believe all my dreams, even the silliest one...

...right from the beginning.

***

Everybody needs a someone
Waitin’ to be there when things are a-lookin’ down
So if you feel a little lonely
Go out, find your one and only
Somewhere out there
Someone will care for you and then...
Never let her go
Never let her go

You may wonder how you know love
When the moment comes that you’ve been a-dreamin’ of
Well true love takes a little longer
Your heart beats a little stronger
You’ll know it’s real
Inside you’ll feel you’re home at last... then
Never let her go
Never let her go

So if you feel a little lonely
Go out, find your one and only
Open your heart
Give love a start and watch it grow... and
Never let her go
Never let her go


"Never Let Her Go" by : Bread.

Friday, April 8, 2011

[angel] kiss in the eyes.

according to an article I randomly read tonight,
"...a kiss in the eyes, the sweetest and the most intimate kiss. Often known as 'angel kiss', and it means that your lover doesn't want to be apart from you."

***

this is explaining our little games. hope the angels are kind enough, to make it real.

i miss you,
#kiss-in-the-eyes.

***

"In the dark the magic spins and we forget the day
Feel the rush of energy inside your soul
One 2 one
I'll take a chance that love is here
And love is all we know
We're wa-tching one another
Let's be dangerous live only for the moment

Come.. and kiss my eyes
Come.. and kiss my eyes
Over come we're overcome"

Kiss My Eyes-Bob Sinclair

Monday, March 7, 2011

low is the new high.

"i never thought that i could talk about these kind of things with you..." a friend said.

What we talk about that night were : the universe, beliefs, soulmate, and basically some sort of heavy spiritual concepts and shits.

And why on earth he said the earlier phrase, because i'm always a sarcastic-pesimistic bitch. I refuse to believe in sentimentality 'those kind of things' bring. I belive those in shitty way.


***

Suddenly Jobless.
Struggling wrap up my study on the last minute.
Having a heavy financial problems.
Being single.
All the kind of low, everyone could imagine, altogether at the moment i less predict.


Saya sedang semacam mendapat tamparan besar, dan sama sekali tidak melihatnya datang, sampai akhirnya benar-benar terjadi.

Untungnya, malam minggu itu, dua orang teman baik semasa perkuliahan, mengajak janjian bertemu di malam minggu yang tidak terlalu asik itu. Untungnya lagi, saya tidak menolak ajakan mereka.

Lalu, di tengah sebuah cafe yang cukup crowded, kami mengobrol ngalor ngidul soal banyak hal ganjil, yang sepertinya bukanlah pilihan banyak orang sebagai pilihan tema malam minggu.

" I almost lost the posivity I built all this way, over Jakarta. Kota itu, dan kantor gue khususnya, seperti membuat gue berpikir negatif, dan melupakan banyak esensi dari apa yang kita kerjar di dunia ini."

"Kalau dipikir-pikir hidup gue ngga masuk akal. Gaji selalu ngga cukup."

"I'm stressed out, i can't imagine being jobless in this hardest moment."

"I never thought my own wish to a twist could result into tragedy."

Keluhan-keluhan yang cukup sulit untuk dicari jawabannya lewat sebuah kacamata realita. Sepertinya kesimpulan yang tepat hanyalah : "let's commit a comunal suicide, and it's all done."
***

Tapi mungkin saja teori 'negatif bertemu negatif sama dengan positif' malam itu berlaku begitu saja. All the negativity suddenly changed into positivity.

"Tuhan memiliki pintu maaf yang lebih besar dari semua dosa yang mungkin seorang manusia lakukan."

"Kalau kamu berpikir sumber penghasilan hanya gaji, then that's the problem. Coba pikirkan hal-hal lainnya yang mungkin didapat dari sebuah pekerjaan. Mungkin networking atau pengalaman, itulah yang seharusnya kita coba syukuri."

"Semua masalah finansial akan selalu ada jalan keluarnya. Asalkan kita mau mencoba sedikit lebih sederhana dalam berpikir."

"Percayalah bahwa 'universe' selalu punya cara yang unik untuk menjawab banyak hal"

"Kemarahan itu overrated. Bahkan kadang kita lupa apa masalah kita sebenarnya dengan marah-marah. Yang penting adalah memaafkan."

"Do you believe in soulmate ? Bahwa soulmate itu melengkapi kita dengan caranya yang aneh ? I'm a total believer now"

Entahlah apa energi sebuah persahabatan itu begitu besar untuk menyelesaikan banyak permasalahan berbeda yang ada di atas meja malam itu. Atau kami memang sebenarnya datang dengan solusi yang sudah ada di otak kami masing-masing, hanya saja sulit untuk kami deskripsikan secara pribadi. Yang jelas, malam itu saya pulang dengan merasa sangat beruntung.

Beruntung punya teman yang tidak mencoba menggurui saya dengan teori-teori dan usulan sok tahu tentang kehidupan.
Beruntung punya perpanjangan otak untuk menyempurnakan proses yang saya lalui akhir-akhir ini.
Beruntung punya motivator dan filsuf terbaik, bernama : persahabatan.

***

"You sure have experienced a lot of things, girl. You should feel lucky. And we have to cherish it, because not everybody could find it."

That night, all the lows, became the new high.
Dan hal buruk dalam hidup yang mungkin terjadi, yang kami sepakati setelahnya, hanyalah stagnasi. Yang terpenting adalah terus bergerak, mengikuti kata hati (sebuah hal yang sudah seringkali seorang teman lainnya bilang, dan saya kurang mengerti artinya sampai malam itu).

and hey, maybe all those 'things' that i refuse to believe at the beginning, aren't shits at all. They're what i believe deeply, the problem is, how brave we are to bring it all on the table, and suck up the shitty-ness, turn it into enlightning trigger.

"Yeah, i'd never thought low is my highest achievement in life."

***

"Life'll only be crazy as it's always been
Wake up early, stay up late, having debts
Things won't be as easy as it often seems
And yet you want me
This cliché's killing me
Still I need more I need more
This I’ve never thought before

Chi trova un amico, trova un tesoro*
We can look for many other foreign lines to make me survive your love
You said "To the future we surrender.
Let's just celebrate today, tomorrow's too far away.
What keeps you waiting to love?
Isn't this what you've been dreaming of?"
Life's to live and love's to love

To the future we surrender
Life's to live and love's to love"

---Surrender, by : Float
*one who finds a friend finds a treasure (italian proverb)

***

# Obrolan absurd malam minggu bersama Detta Rahmawan dan Alfa Haga, diceritakan kembali dengan bahasa yang lebih ringkas, in a charming way... ;p #


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I WISH I.

You love lemon and I love banana Rabbit is lovely, and hippo is cute But shoes will always be our greatest coincidence
swimming is your specialty And drowning is my tendency Can we just play as a teacher and student and go home after, holding hands

***
Oh I wish I could have the courage To take you away anyhow to some funny named deserted island far far away oh I wish I've always had the guts To ask you dissapear together Getting high on whatever drugs everyday


oh I wish I could made you a better song ***
A kiss on the lips is okay But a kiss in the eyes are even finer Please show up in my every bad dreams And do those secretly under the pillow Let's just sing into every coldplay's song Dancing with gondry into the eternal sunshine Going to hawaii and get married in whatever ritual the tribe suggest I'll dyed my hair blue, just please don't end this as a spotless mind


---------------
"and i'm always a lyric person, please somebody add some melody to get along with it..."

Monday, January 10, 2011

You and Me.

saya dan seorang sahabat mengambil sebuah kesimpulan akhir dalam senyuman. Baiklah, kami sudah mengerti sekarang. Ada beberapa hal yang memang sebegitu menyakitkannya dan sebegitu mengesalkannya untuk dimengerti pada awalnya, namun akhirnya akan terasa indah juga.

kami pun masuk ke dalam mobil, dan melanjutkan perjalanan. Tapi tampaknya, music player saya ingin ikut-ikutan membuat kesimpulan. Dia memutar satu lagu, yang membuat kami tersenyum-senyum konyol. 

***


"Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

You know there will be days
When you're so tired
That you can't take another step
The night will have no stars 
And you'll think you've gone as far 
As you will ever get

You and me wak on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

And yeah, yeah, you go where you want to go
Yeah, yeah, be what you want to be
If you ever turn around, you'll see me

I can't really say
Why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
Yeah, you and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now" 

Can't Go Back Now,by : the weepies

***

dan hari itu satu impian kami terwujud, lagi...


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

'kenapa' untuk sebuah kegilaan.

Seorang teman bilang, "ngapain sih lo bersedia gila buat dia?"
Saya hanya mengedikan bahu. Mungkin karena saya sudah benar-benar gila saja, atau secara tidak terjelaskan, hanya merasa apa yang saya rasakan benar-benar benar.
***

kegilaan itu dimulai dari serangkaian kata-kata. Tidak manis, tidak menggoda, hanya 'mengganggu'. Bukan jenis mengganggu seperti ada orang yang berteriak-teriak di kuping saya saat sedang sakit gigi, atau seperti ada segerombolan ABG labil yang kompak berpakaian serupa. Ini jenis mengganggu yang membuat nalar saya bicara, "ini tidak mungkin cuma sekedar kebetulan". Dan saya pun jadi penasaran.

Sayangnya mungkin rasa penasaran ini akan sangat sulit dimengerti oleh orang lain. Wajar sih, semua orang pasti akan berpikir menggunakan akal sehat, sedangkan semenjak kegilaan ini dimulai, entah apa yang saya gunakan untuk berpikir.

Hati ? ah. Terlalu dini untuk bilang begitu. Saya pun tidak tahu lagi. Yang jelas semua kegilaan ini mulai berubah menjadi sesuatu yang adiktif dan saya mulai kewalahan. Apa sih yang sebenarnya saya harapkan, saya juga tidak bisa menetapkan dengan jelas.

Saya hanya ingin jawaban untuk berbagai macam kata kenapa yang sering muncul saat saya sedang bengong. Sekaligus jawaban untuk berbagai macam keyakinan, yang entah kenapa, mulai saya rasakan di tengah ketidak pastian.

Sayangnya, kegilaan ini seperti juga dimulainya, berakhir dengan sedikit gila (entah apa pantas menyebutnya begitu). Ketika sebuah akhir terjadi, tentunya kita ingin sekali memberi tanda titik disana. Sebuah tanda titik, yang entah kenapa (lagi-lagi kenapa) belum rela untuk saya bubuhkan.

Menunggu apalagi sih ? Tidak tahu. Mungkin sebuah kegilaan lain. Yang menyakitkan. Yang barangkali akan membuat semuanya jauh lebih mudah.



***

"I'm always here
All alone without you now
Lights of the night
Just to see you somehow

There's two of us in here
The only, only
There's two of us in here
And it's only

Just you wait
Just you wait
Just you wait
Just you wait

If you run
If you run
If you run

I'll wait, I'll wait"
If You Run-The Boxer Rebellion

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

absurd, nothing described it better.

Most of my nights are absurd, no bragging about it.
But, this is the most absurd night in my life, so far.
The place is crowded. Mostly with people i know. I'm busy saying hi, giving hugs, and answering curiosity.

Suddenly, a woman stand up from the crowd, to sing a song with the band. And i was strangled. Is that MEL SHANDY ? Yes, the lady rocker who was quite popular back then, along side with Nicky Astria and Nike Ardila.

FYI, she's now wearing 'jilbab'. And the place is a bar, full with alcohol. She picked a song "What's Going On", and sang the song in highly lady rocker pitch. And the band is a britpop band.

I couldn't say anything but absurd. Or maybe surreal. Something you can't believe, but somehow it feels real.
***

Dan sebuah telepon dari teman membuat saya berhenti berpikir ini adalah sesuatu yang nyata. Saya harap itu tidak nyata.
Saya harap saya kemarin tidak pergi ke gig itu, tertawa-tawa, memeluk semua orang, dan sedikit tipsy karena tequilla. Saya harap saya tidak menonton teman saya perform, dan tidak bisa menebak siapa yang tiba-tiba naik ke atas panggung untuk menyumbang lagu.

Saya tidak bisa berharap membatalkan beberapa hal lain di belakangnya, karena semuanya memang sudah seharusnya begitu.
Tetapi, mungkin kalau saya tidak pergi kemarin, di saat yang bersamaan, dia juga tidak akan melakukan hal yang kemarin dilakukannya.

Hal yang membuat saya merasa seperti seorang cold hearted bitch. useless-cold-hearted bitch. Because even if i felt something, i couldn't do anything to that.

***

All of sudden, the band played a song that had been haunting me earlier that night. The vocalist--not Mel Shandy--said, the song was dedicated to my other friend. But, yet, i feel like the song was dedicated to me. I sang it loudly, as my invisible tears began to shed . I feel misrable and somehow i feel bad of being good.

"Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
Who are young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people
And I want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their home
And I'm welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last
But then a strange fear gripped me
And I just couldn't ask"
There is a Light That Never Goes Out, The Smiths

Thursday, December 16, 2010

and i've been followed.

kehilangan 1 orang followers tidak pernah terasa se-tidak enak ini. Dan perlu dicatat, meskipun sering membayangkan apa rasanya memiliki followers sampai ratusan ribu, saya tidak pernah terlalu peduli jumlah yang saya miliki. Kalau memang ada yang follow, pastilah saya masih punya orang-orang yang sepemikiran, atau yah setidaknya saya masih punya teman, atau paling yah, saya punya seseorang yang ingin sopan saja.
***

Sampai hari ini. Seseorang dengan twit-twitnya yang aneh. dan kesukaan-kesukaanya yang mirip dengan saya. disertai kecenderungan-kecenderungan pemilihan jokes, yang seringkali mendekati selera saya. ditambah kebiasaannya mengolah kata dalam bahasa inggris yang secara gramatikal sempurna, atau bahasa indonesia yang sangat baik, yang pastinya akan membuat saya--si fetish bahasa--sangat tertarik.

there is always a first time for everything.
and this is my first time, feeling like crying, to lost one particular follower.
well, maybe that one follower is special, somehow.

and i've been followed, but no longer. 


***

"suddenly everything has changed

putting all the clothes

you washed away
as you're folding up the shirts
you hesitate
then it goes fast
you think of the past

suddenly everything has changed"
'Suddenly Everything has Changed-The Postal Service'